working on the calm

Gosh, what a week! It's been one of the more trying weeks I can remember. I don't know what it is lately, but I feel like I am some ones voodoo doll. Yikes, I don't think I have ever been so happy to reach the weekend. Seriously, I felt like driving home from work whilst blaring the 'Rocky' song, fist pumping the air like 'yes! I survived the worst week ever!' I have a suspicion that most of the folks sharing my commute would look over at me and nod knowingly like, yeah girl, we totally hear ya. Anyway - it's the weekend and I refuse to give my office bully a second more of my head space this weekend. Bitter bully - be gone with you!

On a happier note, I went to the outdoor cinema with some friends tonight to see Gulliver's Travels, which, as a film, was not great. But I am always a fan of the outdoor cinema, and it was an awesome evening. Thanks, friends! Perhaps if the weather is clear tomorrow, I can convince The Husband to head over there again to watch the Brazilian film that's playing. Shouldn't be too hard of a sell, considering he won't even have to read the subtitles.

Today is my little sister V's birthday. I can't believe she's nearly 30! I remember when she was just a little bratty kid. And she was bratty, let me tell you. But she has grown up to be such a wonderful young woman, and an amazing mom. I wish I could see her more often.

Anyway, this post has become rambling, and I really only sat down for a few minutes while the washing machine was finishing. I meant to write about my efforts to remain calm this week, and how listening to Celine Dion in the car on the way to work was oddly not helping... and then I found the photo (above) and my thoughts drifted to what Celine would sound like accompanied by a kazoo and I realised that would be just about right.

Have a good weekend, ya'll!

sweet and sour

I don't usually use this blog as a forum for venting. Because I tend to try and take things with a grain of salt, I rarely make sweeping generalisations, if I can help it. But lately I have been really struggling, and I feel like I need an opportunity to say a few things.

Lately I feel like I am dealing with far more sour than sweet. It seems that I have a number of people in my life lately who are unbelievably negative. So much so that I struggle to even be around them. I not only don't understand why they are this way - I don't understand what the point is. What is the overall goal of being such a whinging, bitter, sourpuss? Does that attitude get you somewhere? Does it have any positive results? I hardly think so.

I am running out of coping mechanisms. I feel like the bad guys are winning. They are making me angry, and frustrated. Their complaining and nitpicking is really getting me down. I have polled my friends - how do you deal with negative people? Most of the responses indicate that I should ignore them. Put in my earphones. Walk away. But what do you do when you cannot escape them? When they are people you see often, have to work with, or are related to? What then?

I don't usually shy away from conflict. I know how to stand up for what I think is right. But I stink at sticking up for myself. I'll sooner sneak a cry in the ladies room than fight back at the bully in the office. And yet - is that really the right thing to do? Doesn't the bully win that way? But what are the options? Stoop to their level? Return their comments in kind? That thought doesn't make me feel any better.

So - I am at am impasse. I can't keep feeling like this. And yeah, I know - no one can make you feel inferior without your consent - and all that jazz. But the truth is, it's not as easy as that. I am exhausted and I don't know what to do next. Mean people suck, and that is just the plain truth.

rodeo

Just like last year, we spent the Saturday after Australia Day at the Taralga Rodeo. This year, my friend Cristin came along to keep me company while The Husband was off doing his paparazzi thing. We found ourselves a comfy place under a tree and spent the day people watching. And what a bunch of characters to see! It was crazy dusty, but much cooler than last year, thankfully. Have to say though, it's a bit scary that I know all of the words to that many country songs!

waltzing matilda

Today was our fourth Australia Day in Sydney, and it was apparently the hottest one in twenty years. Yikes. (I thought last year was hotter, but what do I know?) Anyway - we celebrated Australia's 110th birthday with lots of activities in the sunshine. Starting out just like last year, we got up in the very early darkness and headed to Parramatta for the dawn hot air balloon launch.


Unlike last year, the weather was gorgeous, without a single drop of rain. The wind was blowing in the wrong direction, however, so the balloons didn't actually launch. But we did manage to take some great photos. The colours of the balloons were beautiful against the brilliant blue summer sky. Note the balloon reminding you to 'Slip! Slop! Slap!' I am happy to announce that I did all three!

It's not easy for me to get out of bed at 4:30am with a smile on my face, but it was totally worth it. Not everyone thought the balloons were wonderful, however. This guy wasn't so sure.


As usual, I took more photos of people than of anything else. I love that my long lens allows me to take a close up of someone without them even knowing it. People watching is always a good time; so many quintessential Aussie moments to capture this morning.


Just like last year, I headed back to bed for awhile, before we headed down to the harbour to watch the boat races and air show. Strangely, a thick fog had rolled in off the coast, and so the tall ships looked almost ghostly, floating through the mist.


It's kind of a bummer to have a holiday smack in the middle of the week, but always nice to have a day off to spend together. Definitely another successful Australia Day. Happy Birthday Australia!

hope

I have taken a long break from blogging again, thinking at some point I will wake up and want to blog again. That the words will flow easily and freely, and I will be able to share lighthearted stories of our holidays. I keep telling myself that this blog is about fun adventures in a (sometimes) foreign country and I should keep it perky and funny. But life continues to show me that it isn't always going to be sunshine and butterflies. It's sometimes going to be rough and stormy and rainy and difficult. And finding the joy in those times can be awfully hard.

The Husband and I ran away together for Christmas this year. We spent some time in a quieter place, reflecting on the future and enjoying each others company. We held hands and watched the sun go down on 2010, looking forward to 2011 with anticipation, mixed with a little trepidation. You really never know what life is going to swing your way... and the more we live, the more that becomes clear.

We returned from our trip anxious to catch up on the rest of the world. We had - by choice - isolated ourselves from the world for a time and there was a rush of overwhelming information to read and take in. I found that a woman whose blog I frequent had lost her home over the holidays. Following her story in the days since has humbled me and made me feel incredibly sad and hopeful at the same time. I cannot imagine the feeling of utter loss, and yet, her story only rings of hope and blessings.

The last week or so has brought incredible, unbelievable loss to the people of Australia. Floods the likes of which are rarely seen have engulfed vast portions of the country, and all we could do was watch in disbelief. Personally knowing people who have been affected has brought a new dimension to the tragedy. But, after the waters peaked and the sun appeared... seeing the waves of people giving and sharing and helping in the cleanup has been equally awe-inspiring. It may take years for these folks to recover, but right now, they are pulling on their boots and going to work - helping those who are even less fortunate. The inherent goodness of humankind is sometimes too great for words.

Despite all of the tragedy and suffering going on in the world these days, it's the images of hope that stand out for me. People, joining hands, pushing past the opinions that divide us, and instead holding on to the things that make us all the same. These moments may be fleeting, but they stay with us long after. After the storms subside, even while we continue to slog through the muddy remainders, we can look up at the sky and see the rainbow.

Happy New Year. May it be a year that brings each one of us hope.

sparkle

One of my favourite things about the Christmas season has always been the lights. I remember when I was growing up, we used to drive down to Thanksgiving at Grams each year, and on the way home, my brothers and sisters and I would count how many houses we could see all lit up for Christmas. We never had Christmas at our house, you see, so those lights were like the mark of some secret society, all glittery and pretty against the snow.

I'll admit, I think the snow is a big part of the magic. The Husband and I took a detour on the way home the other night, just to drive past a house we had heard about - all lit up for Christmas. For Australian standards, it was pretty fantastic. You just don't see houses decked out Griswold-style here the way you see them 'back home.' Maybe it's because a strand of lights is $40+ here, but it could also be because there is no snow. The lights just don't feel the same without the snow.

The Husband and I didn't put up a tree this year, and I am missing the sparkle of the lights. I remember putting up the tree in years past and then turning off all the house lights and sitting in the dark, just watching the tree twinkle. (Of course, that is usually about the time the tree would crash to the floor. No kidding. It happened three years running. True story.) Still, I would love to come home to the sparkle and twinkle of those lights. It never seemed like Christmas until they were up.

Last night, after one too many Christmas centric episodes of my favourite TV shows (how many of you would have loved to kick Dwight Schrute in the face?!) I was feeling a little blue. It just doesn't feel like Christmas without the lights! So I dug out a single strand of white Christmas lights, plugged them in, and draped them over the book case. Turned out the lamp, and just looked at them twinkle. Perfect. All is right with the world.

baking day

Every year for over 10 years I have said "one day, I am going to take a day off and do all of my holiday baking." Well, this year, I finally did it. I took a Friday off, dusted off a few favourite recipes, as well as a few new ones, and spent a whole day baking. In reality, it ended up taking the better part of 3 days to get it all done, but everything sure turned out pretty.

The final tally... three days, 12 eggs, 1 kilo of butter, 2 bags of flour, 5 pounds of chocolate, over 350 cookies, 4 batches of icing, and 12 gift boxes of goodies. Oh, and a very, very sore back. Ugh.

But, how beautiful are these? Bet you are wishing you are on my Christmas list this year, aren't you?

green

Just had two minutes this morning before rushing off to work, and wanted to share some of the photos I took yesterday. The Husband and I took a walk through the city, all decked out in it's Christmas fancies. One upside to all the rain we have been getting is that the city is so green. All the flowers and blossoms are lovely, but I was so thankful for a sunny day - finally!

We had a nice afternoon at the Art Gallery of NSW with some friends, and then a long dinner on the patio at Pinos. It finally felt like summer. Love it.

looking backward to move forward

Aren't you always amazed at how fast time flies? One minute you are a child and the very next minute, you are all grown up, with adult worries and responsibilities. It's crazy how fast life just passes you by.

I admit, I have been wishing my life away lately. I am always waiting for it to be the weekend, or for it to be the holidays, or for it to be lunchtime, for that matter. It's not a healthy way to live life, but it seems that most of us are always looking forward to the next big thing, instead of appreciating the little things that are right now.

I was telling The Husband this week that I'd like to write a book about growing up in my family and all the little things that I remember. Trouble is, those little things come to mind when I am lying awake in the middle of the night, or when I am washing dishes... and I never take the time to sit in front of a notebook and write them down. It's hard to grasp onto those little things - they can zip by so quickly.

I have been looking back at old photos this week. After a recent hard drive failure, I am feeling a little more vulnerable about back ups and losing memories. My biggest regret is not taking the time to take more photos. I think I always felt like I had plenty of time to take more photos later. But the sun goes down and people move away and kids grow so fast and... suddenly the opportunity has passed.

I think my resolution for the coming year is going to be two fold. First, I am going to start carrying around a notebook to capture the little things. And secondly, I am going to take more photos. It's time to start making the effort; I know someday I'll be thankful that I did.

food coma

Thanksgiving was a massive success. Food, friends, laughs, and a total food hangover. Two days later and I think I am still suffering the effects. Totally worth it though... I could eat pumpkin pie every single day and never tire of it. While I missed my family, the friends we shared the day with were a perfect substitute. (Read more about the day here.) Many thanks to them for sharing their day with us!

Now that Thanksgiving is over with, it's officially summer here in Oz. In fact, this week marks the official first day of summer. I am looking forward to getting out on that beautiful big blue ocean and going kayaking, snorkeling, and swimming. So glad it's beach season - I have a ton of books to read! I am trying to focus on the positives and not think about the fact that "back home" they got their first dusting of snow this week. Strangely, I am feeling a little jealous. Feel free to mail me some!